Ten Easy to Keep New Year's Resolutions

Because who needs all that pressure? Here are my resolutions that I will conquer with no trouble, and thus feel marvelous about myself.

1. Eat chocolate.

2. Read more.

3. Gain weight. (#1 will help)

4. Work the word "whatev" into my vocabulary more.

5. Be less organized.

6. Yell at my dog.

7. Enjoy music.

8. Flirt with my husband.

9. Avoid laundry.

10. Watch Fringe faithfully.

Whew. I'm exhausted from all that effort. I've pretty much done my whole list today. I'm an overachiever.

Gotta get back to gaining weight. Later, peeps.