Unfulfilled

This just in: I am musically frustrated.

And I'm starting to realize I'm the problem.

A few months back, I wrote about how the music at our church was changing in awesome ways. My opinion on that hasn't changed. The band and singing are wonderful at church, and each week I find myself really enjoying and getting lost in the message of the music and I'm not nearly as distracted as I used to be. 

But ironically, all of the changes I was longing for all these years have resulted in me being far less involved. On the one hand, that's great, because it means other people are participating and the talent in our church is finally being recognized. But, for me personally, it's a little sad, and I find myself restless and itching for an opportunity to sing. 

Yeah, I know. I sound like a diva.

But all of us can relate to this, I'm sure. Having a particular area of expertise and dedication and not having an outlet to express it. Like a writer without a reader or an artist without a gallery or an actor without a stage. I feel sorta lost.  Art is for self expression, yes, but it's so much more satisfying to share the art with others. 

Singing alone in my car is fun. But it's nothing like singing in public with accompaniment and an audience.

So, what are my options? I don't want to leave my church, but I can't rely on it to be my place of expression either. And that's fine. Church isn't about me anyway. But I have no idea what to do with this need I have to perform musically. Am I supposed to be letting go of that dream or looking for an open door?

Seriously, help. I'm looking for advice here.