The End of the Tunnel

Sidebar: What's with me blogging every day? Weird, huh?

I just spent about an hour working on the finances, which, as you know, is not my idea of a pleasant afternoon. I'd rather scrape soap scum off a dingy tub for an hour than spend that time with bills. But today, I decided to bite the bullet, dive in, and sort some stuff out.

I told myself beforehand it was just a fact finding mission. Find balances owed and make a list. No emotional response, please, self. Just get in there and git er done.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that the numbers don't seem so overwhelming anymore.

Don't get me wrong, we're still on an uphill climb here, but for the first time in years, maybe even in our entire marriage, I feel like things are improving. Like I can see the peak of the mountain and things will be getting easier soon. Like we'll be able to breathe.

It's wonderful to see the balances get smaller. It's a relief to feel like, okay, we can do this. It won't be too much longer.

We've made two big changes recently in our approach to bills. First, Seth has taken over. I waved the white flag. It wasn't that before Seth was dumping all the responsibility on me, but I took it out of guilt that I wasn't earning a paycheck. But after years of not being able to face it, he came to my rescue. I don't even know exactly how much money is in the bank, which is both terrifying and delightful, but it leads to the other big change: I ask him before I spend money.

I'm totally Lucy and he's my Desi. Except that I've had to tell him it's okay to tell me no. But having to let someone know when I want/need to spend money has also helped me cut back on my spending. I wasn't really spending that much before, but it's a good motivator to return my library books on time and only pick up the important things when grocery shopping. Make cuts where I can.

Of the two of us, Seth is the better accountant, and I'm really good at nagging. So I think this will work out. Plus, he continues to work his butt off for us. And he's the one that makes all the phonecalls. I love him for that.

I know there will still be moments of despair where money is concerned. After all, we're pretty sure the only reason both our vehicles are still running is because of prayer. Neither are we prepared for a sudden financial emergency quite yet. But we're getting there. Little by little, one day at a time.

I'll keep you posted.