Thankful

The more I see of the world, the more I appreciate my parents.

When I was younger, I lived in a bubble. I thought all families I knew had happy homes like I did. After all, the majority of families I knew were Christian ones. With Christ at the center of a home, how can it not be happy?

I'm older now. I've learned that not all Christian families have Christ at the center. I've learned that sin and ugliness can reside anywhere, even under the shiny veneer of a "good Christian". I know that a lot of families harbor secrets they're ashamed of, drama just under the surface waiting to explode.

And then there are the families without Christ.

I can empathize with these families, because I have helped people close to me face crises that can destroy homes. But I cannot relate through my own childhood experience.

My parents weren't dramatic. My dad especially was unflappable, which is handy in a home full of girls. Even my mom, whom I knew could get frustrated with us, wasn't prone to losing her temper or shouting.

I never heard my parents argue, or raise their voices at each other. Sure, they had disagreements, but there was never a moment in my life where I questioned that they had anything but respect and life long love for one another. Never.

I never heard my parents gossip. This impresses me now as an adult, because they were in full time ministry. Pastors might as well paint targets on their backs, because sooner or later, someone's going to disagree with you, probably loudly. But I only knew of these disagreements if they occurred before my very eyes. I never heard my parents discussing anyone in a bad light.

My parents were conscious of our safety. Yes, we lived in a different era and in a very small town. We were allowed freedom to ride our bikes and play in the neighborhood. But we weren't allowed to spend the night with just anyone. They had to know the families well before we were allowed to have sleepovers. There were a few times they said no. We didn't understand then, but we're grateful now.

I never felt coddled or ignored. They walked the balance between the two with finesse.

I didn't see a double standard. They weren't pleasant at church and tyrants at home. They were themselves, just in Sunday clothes.

They taught us the importance of God's Word, above opinion.

They didn't force their dreams on us. My mom wanted me to go to Bible college. I chose to get married instead. That never caused a rift.

They weren't obnoxious at our sporting events. They didn't give us whatever we wanted. They didn't rush to the rescue at every little bump in our lives.

There were a lot of times I was frustrated or annoyed with my parents, especially as a teenager. There were even more times when my sisters and I had some big explosive fights. But there was never a time where home wasn't a peaceful place for me. A haven. A place to take a deep breath. I look back on my youth and see an overarching comfort and quiet.

Are there things that I do differently as a parent than they did? Sure. Times change, and I have different kids than they did, different convictions, different goals. I believe the Holy Spirit and God's Word should guide parenting and we shouldn't blindly follow whatever our predecessors did.

But there are a lot of issues where I'm honored to follow in their footsteps. They made wise choices. They raised three girls in a happy home. They kept us safe from great harm. And they prepared us to be servants of Christ.

And they're pretty cool now too. And almost always willing to babysit.

"The Lord...blesses the home of the righteous." Proverbs 3:33

Our family in the glorious fashion era of c. 1990