Parenting Fail

My kids are coming off a two month long cartoon and Wii binge.

Now that I'm generally not a miserable, vomitous mass anymore, I've done what I used to dread my mother doing: Declared NO MORE TV. Although, I have to be more thorough than she did, and include Wii and computer games in that too.

Now, with all electrical equipment shut down, I'm remembering how annoying my kids can be.

Apparently, the toys in this house are only good for about ten minute intervals. The rest of the play time is consumed with one of two basic activities: running (yes, just running with each other from one end of the house to the other) or wrestling. On my bed.

They may be boys, but their giggling is shrill and high pitched. And sometimes cute, until it reaches a certain decibel. And their thundering footsteps on the hardwood floors get old fast. And the wrestling I just avoid watching. I hear things like "Okay, now it's your turn to jump on me!" and just start praying and hoping for the best. No one's had a concussion or stitches in awhile, so we're due. I also try not to think about how I wasted ten minutes making my bed that morning.

I miss TV.

But it's for the best.

Right?

Funny story. Last night, Thing One was desperately looking for his water bottle. I told him it was probably in his bed, where he stashes all his special treasures. He lamented that he looked in his bed and it wasn't there. We were skeptical, because our children lack any tracking skills at all. I could ask them to please find a shirt, which are in the same drawers they have been for years, and they would come back with a pair of socks and an "I can't find a shirt." The only thing they can locate with any success is the TV.

Anyway, my husband, compulsive person that he is, told Thing One "I'll give you five dollars if your bottle isn't in your bed."

Thing One went to look again. I whispered, "I'm not sure if it's really in his bed."

His face remained expressionless, but I saw his eyes flicker.

I cracked a smile. "Do you even have five dollars?"

He gave me a stoic nod.

The bottle wasn't in his bed. Thing One found it in the basement. And received five dollars. Which is such a waste, because this is the kid that gets excited when we give him 29 cents in pennies.

But at least husband learned a valuable lesson. Never gamble your lunch money with a six year old. It's just too big of a risk.