Good Grief

Tunnel Vision

I'm having issues with my Baptist affiliation these days.

This is nothing new. If I'm honest, I've been having issues with the Baptist Church for the better part of a decade.

Today's issue? This assumption that when I disagree with a teaching or an opinion of my church, I am "not enduring sound doctrine".

I've become a bit of a skeptic, I'll admit. I spent over 20 years pretty much buying whatever I was taught. I've had to unlearn a lot of legalism and let go of a lot of downright sinful ideas. So, whether it's a good thing or not, I take what I hear from my church and my denomination with a hefty grain of salt. It's good in the sense that it makes me search diligently through the Scriptures for answers. It's bad in the sense that I have a hard time trusting my brothers.

And it doesn't help that there seems to be a whole lot of guilt flowing around for people who question. This is probably just my perception, but have you ever felt like the sermon is aimed directly at you? And not in a "Wow, I needed to hear that" way, but rather an "Are they picking on me?" way. Lately it seems like every sermon, lesson, and conversation is preceded by "this is God's opinion, not mine." Which makes me feel like a wretched sinner when I'm a bit wary of what I hear.

Am I just rebellious? Should I just swallow the teachings I disagree with? Should I accept the party line and the prevalent interpretation of certain Scriptures?

Or do I speak up at the risk of being "a dissenter"? Am I allowed to converse about my own convictions with my brethren? Will I be seen as hostile even if I'm gentle in my delivery?

I'm not really in the mood to be judged right now.

I kinda get the feeling that my parents' generation never questioned what they heard. I can understand how in the sixties, the church tightened it's belt and got firm on certain issues when the culture of the time was letting loose. The youth of the day were frightened by the changes in society and sought refuge in the rules and feeling secure with their clean consciences.

But in their obedience, I'm afraid they believed a lot of false doctrine.

And now when it's questioned, they get defensive.

Which I guess I can understand. I mean, I'm the same way when I'm questioned.

Sheesh, my head hurts from all the thinking. Here's to two incoherent blog posts in a row! I need some chocolate.




Comments

Nate said…
The beauty of the Christian faith is that it is really the only belief system that begs to be anyalyzed, critiqued, and investigated. We, as Christians, have an advantage over the rest of the world, because God Himself tells us to open our minds and search the truth.

So, yes, find out the answers for yourself. Investigate, question, search...it's what God tells us to do. Anyone that says to just listen to them and follow them blindly, really is a Baptist, and not a good Christian.

God wants us to test him (I think that is in Romans 12 or something). Do it and be more free in your faith after it.

As a side note, you thought about leaving the church for someplace different?
sethswife said…
thanks for the encouragement.

we have thought about looking around, but neither of us have a peace about that at this point. it's not really doctrinal, fundamental things i disagree with, it's all the little baptist "hot buttons" that give me pause. and we have such a love for the people here. it's just been brought to the forefront lately b/c we're working closely with others on certain things. remember that conversation we had in beth's parents' kitchen when you guys were visiting? we totally see your point now, if you get my drift.

but i am in no way "dedicated" to being a baptist till i die. i actually think denominational lines are rather unscriptural.

just venting my frustrations. the Holy Spirit hasn't given us freedom to leave (yet) and our church hasn't given us freedom to disagree (yet). so we shall see.
Pastor Timothy said…
Just to give you some encouragement (or maybe discouragement), it's not just the Baptists. It's everywhere.

A guy did a study on teens and religion, and he found that the main "religion" of teens of any religious background was "Moralistic Therapeutic Deism." Basically put, teens tend towards thinking that God exists, but doesn't engage with us much. God wants us to be happy and feel good. And ultimately, we need to be good people.

The thing they're missing is a Savior, and that we're wretched sinners apart from God (whether we're doing "good" or being outright "bad").

In order to make up for our "badness," we make up rules to help us look better and display to people that we're better than what we are. We make rules on tithing (and of course, we have to give all of that to the local church), how we dress, not having tattoos, never taking a drink of alcohol, praying with thee's and thou's, etc.

But, in reality, I know that I have my own rules in my life, too. I'm always too often sowing fig leaves for myself - when I constantly need to be exchanging that for the garment of Christ's righteousness.

Something Tracy tells me when I get frustrated in ministry is, "They need you here. If you don't tell them this, who will?" I know that God can use someone else, but God has placed me where I'm at for a reason. Maybe Tracy's encouragement will give you encouragement, too.
sethswife said…
haha, tim my heart nearly stopped for a second when i saw your comment. our pastor's name is tim too, and though i highly doubt he reads my blog, i momentarily braced for reproof. whew. close one. :)

seth and i sorta feel like that right now. like we're here for a purpose. maybe to encourage others to think more deeply about what they hear from the pulpit. i just personally struggle with constantly being afraid i am sinning and causing others to sin by stirring up trouble somehow.

but more than a church change, i would definitely rather see hearts change, mine included!
Jared said…
I'm going to be echoing a lot of what Nate said (we agree on a lot..we should be friends), but the problem I had in my home church was that any type disagreement was a sin. My church was VERY legalistic. So much so that I can't remember actually growing at all in my relationship with God until I got out on my own. I started college still an infant in God's word. I got some instruction from my parents, but that was it. Nothing from the church. My mom and dad both were faithful sunday school teachers to 3rd-5th graders and to the youth for a long time while I was growing up. However, because we enjoyed a life outside of church and didn't listen to southern gospel all the time, there were people in the church that despised us. One person, the organ player, wrote dad a letter stating that my parents were giving the church a black eye. Did not speak a word to them, just handed them a letter. Her name is Dottie Esque. She was an awful organist and an even worse singer. I don't care if she reads this either. She's probably dead by now or can't use a computer so, no worries.

Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah. Legalism and disagreeing. It's people like Dottie that make me wary about questioning what I have been taught all my life from behind the pulpit. Also, I came from a family that was VERY strong 5 point Calvinist. It was almost 6 point, and I was taught that anyone who didn't believe in all 5 points were deceivers and in Satan's service. So it's very hard for me to actually converse with someone who isn't necessarily 5 point..uh my wife and her family for example...and not come down on them when the topic is discussed. Luckily, it hardly ever does.

So, I see what you mean when it comes to testing or questioning what we believe. It's at those times that I turn to God's word. I agree with you, Nate, that the ability to test and analyze our faith is a beautiful thing. That's what I keep telling people who think that I'm catholic. I'm not catholic. Mainly because I read God's word for myself and don't rely on some minister or some church official to tell me what to believe. I think a lot of Baptist churches are more like Catholic churches than they would like to admit. Woah..did I just say that?

By the way, I could write a book on my legalistic church. Good grief is right.
Jared said…
My comment is too large, blogspot says, so I'll be putting it in a new post on my OWN blog.
sethswife said…
i look forward to reading jared.
Amy said…
Didn't read what everyone else posted because they looked rather long...

I got choked up (and still am) after reading this post. Not sure why. Maybe because of my recent situation and being so thankful for Maranatha and wanting & hoping everything to be perfect for a while. I know there are "issues" everywhere but I just wanted to be naive to them for a bit.

I DO agree with you about denominational lines.

One thing I can say I learned from the closing of my church and the way it "went down" is to never be afraid, no matter what your age or the people involved, to speak up. If I had had the courage to speak up a few years ago to those I respected and held high and just dealt with the way I knew they would respond in the moment, we could have saved ourself a lot of heartache that still continues. Speak up.

And don't worry about being guilted. It will happen. Of course it will. But if you feel the Lord has something for you to say then no guilt should stop you. He will help you and He will keep you strong.
Anonymous said…
Kat, remember, I blame you for introducing me to www.jesusneedsnewpr.net. I read Matthew Paul Turner's book "Churched," and it was an enjoyable read about growing up fundamentalist and coming out of that mindset...not necessarily applicable, since the church of our childhood was often much more "liberal" (wink wink- does Dad read this blog?), but still, you may glean something from it. I'm also reading "Evolving In Monkeytown" by Rachel Held Evans (when I say I'm reading it I mean I have a bookmark about halfway through it)- you may enjoy that as well. Her blog is pretty good (rachelheldevans.com). I hesitate to build my entire theology on what she says (she is, after all, a GIRL, and under 30, so you know), but it's nice to feel a kinship with someone who has been where we are.
Jared said…
hmm...apparently it WASN'T too big..
Pastor Timothy said…
If you all want to read a good book that relates to this type of topic, I'd recommend, "Christless Christianity" by Michael Horton.
Jennifer Anne said…
it's not just Baptists and it's not all Baptists. I can say with absolute certainty that the church I attend now, though Baptist in name, has helped me overcome a lot of preconceived notions. It has helped me ask the right questions when reading the Bible instead of bringing my own baggage to the table. And not only has it helped me overcome some of those things, it has helped me to do it without becoming bitter towards other Christians who may have taught me something that I no longer believe to be true. After all, we are all still being sanctified. But no matter where you attend church you will always need to be like the Bereans (searching the Scriptures for yourself) because no church, no pastor, no Christian is perfect (yet).
sethswife said…
gwen, i do like some of mpt's stuff. i actually had his books reserved at the library but i was lazy and didn't pick them up. i think he can tend to go overboard and be a little TOO cynical about the flaws sometimes though. i read him for several reasons: entertainment, to know i'm not the only one that thinks paintings of Jesus are creepy, and sort of as a warning of being too bitter about the church. yes, christians can sometimes do stupid things. and it's ok to point them out. but i think we need to be careful not to focus so much on the negative that we have a harder time loving others. kwim?