Busy Bee

I am by nature a homebody. There's no question about that.

I like routine. I like the warmth of our home. I like quiet. I like having many hours in a day to complete my tasks. I don't like deadlines or rushing around. My perfect day is spending the morning doing school and spending the afternoon cleaning my house (with bursts of internet and reading sprinkled throughout).

For awhile, I've felt like this is something I should be ashamed of.

Laziness has definitely been a life long struggle for me. Before I homeschooled (and even in the first couple of years of it), I really, really struggled with getting things done. Back then, I loathed routine. I hated having a to do list. I wanted freedom to do whatever I wanted to do.

But the older your homeschooling child is, the more that's at stake. I had to learn to get more disciplined in going at it every. single. day, regardless of how much I wanted to be doing something else. And as far as housework goes, I became more dedicated to home maintenance with every pregnancy. It really came to a head during my pregnancy with Homegirl. I was so sick, I could barely function for 26 straight weeks, even with medicine. Seth did everything he could to just keep the house running AND be in the fire academy. But there was only so much he could do. Deep cleaning was out and bedrooms were barely touched. I felt like I was trapped. I wanted to get things done, but I was helpless. That season in my life left an imprint on me and when I felt better, I got busy purging all our excess, because finally, I could. That's not to say that I am a cleaning superstar now, just that I'm much less likely to let it get out of control.

Well, the month of October has been anything but routine. There has been so much on the calendar this month, every week, we've been out more than home. School has been a joke. The thing about dyslexics (and most children, probably) is that you have to repeat stuff a lot for it to stick. Regular maintenance required. So when there are holes in our school week for things like field trips and Bible study and vacation and guests and other events, anything we learn is just going to have to be relearned when things settle down. The house is a disaster (thankfully NOT morning sickness level, but still annoying). It's not that these things interrupting our schedule haven't been awesome or necessary. I'm just to the point now where I'm ready for routine again.

God brought to mind today the verses in Titus directed toward women, specifically the encouragement to be busy at home. I felt both relieved and convicted. Relieved that my desires to return to our daily home routine were actually a good thing, especially in our society that encourages being busy everywhere. I'm not able to divide myself like that. When we're busy outside the home, my home definitely struggles. At this point in my life, God hasn't called me personally to a profession, but rather to make home my focus. These kids aren't going to educate themselves. Our family needs me to be the one whose main business is making the home function and getting the schooling done. And that's okay. Just as moms who work outside of the home are often judged for that decision (and shouldn't be), moms who stay home are often judged for not being busier (and shouldn't be). I need to stop looking at my fellow Christian moms who just seem to be able to do it all and remember that God has called me to do what I am supposed to do, not what others are supposed to do. Our homes, our families, our stories are different. They are supposed to be, so that God can use them to minister in many different ways. So, I also feel convicted to focus on what God has called me to do and not compare with others whose paths are different.

I believe God equips us for every task. He has designed me to be fulfilled in being busy at home, because that is what he has called me to be. Every so often, He allows our schedule to overflow, and I can benefit from this too. It helps me remember to pray for moms who are juggling far more than I am. It solidifies my dedication to homeschooling our kids with diligence. It shows me how much I actually do get done under normal circumstances (because of how quickly the house spirals out of control when I can't get to it). It makes me so grateful for the sweet, quiet moments I have throughout the day to do what I need to do, like study or read or blog. If we never had crazy months like this one, I would easily take all that for granted.

I'm quite ready for November and hopefully a more balanced schedule. And rest. And accomplishing the tasks I really need to accomplish.

And I'll be doing it all in my yoga pants.

Perks of the job. :)