An open letter to my children
First off, let me just say, I love you guys. You're, like, totally the bees knees. I think we're working as a great team here and for the most part, things rock.
Seriously, great work out there, guys.
There are just a *few* minor issues that need to be addressed. Not even issues. More like encouragements. Yes, encouragements. Let's call them "Mom's Minor But Enthusiastic Exhortations For Better All Around Family Quality". MMBEXFBAAFQ for short. MEE for shorter.
MEE #1: It's really not necessary to pull items out of your drawers and throw them into the air behind you when looking for acceptable clothing to wear. This is often the reason that you claim to have nothing to wear. Just scan the room.
MEE #2: If there's dirt all over the towel after you wash your hands, you haven't really washed your hands.
MEE #3: There will never be a time in my life when I don't consider some of the shows you love lame. It's pointless to press the issue. Love Power Rangers all you want, but I will never sing its praises and I will always have that look on my face when I pause to listen to the dialogue. You don't have to say "What??" defensively.
MEE #4: I will always offer you vegetables at dinner. Don't act like it's a diabolical act intentionally done to thwart your personal happiness. (I'm talkin' to you, Thing Two.)
MEE #5: That little silver toggle thing on the side of the toilet? Use it.
MEE #6: Ya know that thing you do where as soon as I stand up from the couch you dive into my spot? Yeah...let's not do that.
MEE #7: Pants are not optional. I know we've covered this.
MEE #8: Sometimes I clean up the house just to clean it. Or put on makeup and pants with a real waistband just because. Don't automatically assume company's coming over or that we're going somewhere.
MEE #9: I know you're just trying to make Daddy feel good about himself when you say you love his music. I know you don't really find those 80's rock hits and the techno mixes so totally awesome. I know when you beg to hear them in the van, you're just trying to boost his confidence.
Right?
MEE #10: Just because Homegirl finds you funny doesn't mean you actually are funny. What slays the infant crowd doesn't usually work on the 30 something crowd. But A for effort there.
I'll alert you to new MEEs as they become available. Keep up the good work. I think we've got a good season going, so let's keep our eye on the ball. Team on three--One, two, TEAM!
Now please go put the clothes back in your drawers.
Seriously, great work out there, guys.
There are just a *few* minor issues that need to be addressed. Not even issues. More like encouragements. Yes, encouragements. Let's call them "Mom's Minor But Enthusiastic Exhortations For Better All Around Family Quality". MMBEXFBAAFQ for short. MEE for shorter.
MEE #1: It's really not necessary to pull items out of your drawers and throw them into the air behind you when looking for acceptable clothing to wear. This is often the reason that you claim to have nothing to wear. Just scan the room.
MEE #2: If there's dirt all over the towel after you wash your hands, you haven't really washed your hands.
MEE #3: There will never be a time in my life when I don't consider some of the shows you love lame. It's pointless to press the issue. Love Power Rangers all you want, but I will never sing its praises and I will always have that look on my face when I pause to listen to the dialogue. You don't have to say "What??" defensively.
MEE #4: I will always offer you vegetables at dinner. Don't act like it's a diabolical act intentionally done to thwart your personal happiness. (I'm talkin' to you, Thing Two.)
MEE #5: That little silver toggle thing on the side of the toilet? Use it.
MEE #6: Ya know that thing you do where as soon as I stand up from the couch you dive into my spot? Yeah...let's not do that.
MEE #7: Pants are not optional. I know we've covered this.
MEE #8: Sometimes I clean up the house just to clean it. Or put on makeup and pants with a real waistband just because. Don't automatically assume company's coming over or that we're going somewhere.
MEE #9: I know you're just trying to make Daddy feel good about himself when you say you love his music. I know you don't really find those 80's rock hits and the techno mixes so totally awesome. I know when you beg to hear them in the van, you're just trying to boost his confidence.
Right?
MEE #10: Just because Homegirl finds you funny doesn't mean you actually are funny. What slays the infant crowd doesn't usually work on the 30 something crowd. But A for effort there.
I'll alert you to new MEEs as they become available. Keep up the good work. I think we've got a good season going, so let's keep our eye on the ball. Team on three--One, two, TEAM!
Now please go put the clothes back in your drawers.
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