Speaking of Weddings...

So, apparently there was some little known wedding today. I barely caught a snippet about it in the news. Something about Westminster Abbey and quail's eggs.

Got me thinking about my wedding that happened about 10 kajillion years ago, back at a time when I'd barely passed the milestones of driving and voting and sleeping through the night. It reminded me that if I could go back in time and do it over, I would change nearly every detail.

Instead of mid afternoon, I'd have an evening wedding. Probably in the winter so it's dark out. I'd definitely have a different dress. I didn't hate my dress, but I wasn't I-could-die-in-this-dress in love with it. I basically chose it because it didn't break my budget. I really did like it until the lady that did my alterations totally botched it, taking it from scoop neck to off the shoulder and I ended up not being able to move my arms more than a centimeter. Thanks, random lady. I would have a classier reception and I would mingle with my guests more. Let me tell you, conservative Baptist wedding receptions can be tricky since dancing isn't on the agenda. If I could change that little detail I would gladly. Oh, and I definitely would have practiced the kiss beforehand. People who kiss privately but never ever in the eyes of others need to know what they look like kissing before they parade it in front of 150 guests. I cringe at the thought of it.

In fact, now that I'm on the other side of that wedding, I think eloping sounds exotically romantic.

It wasn't that I wasn't happy. It wasn't that I wasn't grateful for all the hard work our families put into the day. It wasn't that I thought the whole thing was a mistake.

It was that I wasn't confident in my abilities as a party planner/hostess/bride. I was not really into the glitzy details. I was way more into the whole marriage thing than the wedding thing. Which I guess isn't so bad. The wedding is one day, and while it's significant, it's not everything. It's a very, very small portion of what life is all about.

I was also only 19 and overwhelmed with this crippling fear of people thinking we were stupid and naive and only getting married for the...um...you know...benefits. That may be true for some, but for me, I knew what I was getting in to. No, I didn't know all that marriage would entail. I didn't know of the trials we'd face. I didn't know which hardships we'd struggle through. But I knew what commitment meant. I knew that this was forever, no backing out, no matter what.

And it wasn't like my groom was my perfect prince charming (sorry, Honey). He was barely 21 and I'd known him since he was 14. I knew his rough edges. I knew he wasn't perfect. I knew he wasn't the poster child for maturity. But I also knew he had a lot of potential.

And I loved him like it was my calling in life.

Which it sorta is.

So, I guess I can't look back on the wedding and see it as a glorious success as far as classiness and great parties go (if only we'd served quail's eggs). It is what it is. I can't go back and change it, so I often think of the things I loved about that day.

Like the moment Seth and I first saw each other. Like singing to each other. Like the processional he picked (Freedom, Michael W. Smith). Like the video my dad made for us featuring "our song" (A Wink & A Smile). Like being surrounded by people we loved and who loved us. Like the fact that I was skinny back then.

And that I was marrying the love of my life, my perfect other.

If they were to write about the story of my life

They would have to mention you with every page they'd write.

There's another side to every story told.

If I were the ocean, you would be the shore,

And one without the other one would be needing something more.

We are the shadow and the light.

Always love me.

Never leave me now.

Now you are the other side of me.

I have known the emptiness of feeling out of touch,

And living life without you here would be living half as much

'Cause I've a need that only you can fill.

If love was mathematical, you'd understand the sum

To the heart's equation, where one and one makes one,

And lonely equals me minus you.

Always love me.

Never leave me now.

Now you are the other side of me.

--The Other Side of Me, by Michael W. Smith (the song we sang to each other)