Tongue Tied

So, apparently there was some little known wedding today. I barely caught a snippet about it in the news. Something about Westminster Abbey and quail's eggs. Got me thinking about my wedding that happened about 10 kajillion years ago, back at a time when I'd barely passed the milestones of driving and voting and sleeping through the night. It reminded me that if I could go back in time and do it over, I would change nearly every detail. Instead of mid afternoon, I'd have an evening wedding. Probably in the winter so it's dark out. I'd definitely have a different dress. I didn't hate my dress, but I wasn't I-could-die-in-this-dress in love with it. I basically chose it because it didn't break my budget. I really did like it until the lady that did my alterations totally botched it, taking it from scoop neck to off the shoulder and I ended up not being able to move my arms more than a centimeter. Thanks, random lady. I would have a classier reception and ...

Humans are blessed with cognitive abilities. We can think, reason, choose and weigh decisions. We have free will to make choices based on all the information we are given. We even have instincts to fill in the gaps where information isn't available. Except pregnant humans. I am being ruled by my tiny urchin. For someone who weighs a whopping pound and a half, he/she sure packs a lot of punch. It's like I'm housing a mini-dictator. When the baby wants chocolate, I'm forced to oblige. Or pickles. Or cheese. Or breakfast cereal. The baby doesn't care that it's 11:38 p.m. or that I just filled up on popcorn. The baby just points at me with that skinny finger and glares and growls, NOW. I'm powerless against the forces within. If the baby wants me to go take a nap, he/she will slowly and methodically sap all energy reserves from my body until I can barely lift my eyelids and I start to drool. I don't know how he/she does it. Voodoo? Narcotics? I have no proof...

I was sixteen years old. I sat in a crowd of other teenagers, feeling the high that a week at a Christian camp brings. For five days, I'd drowned in a sea of amazing praise music and preaching and awesome conversations with other believers. But all was not well in my heart. There was a darkness residing in me. I knew Christ had saved me. I knew the Bible pretty well. I knew how I was *supposed* to be living. I knew how to create that facade of innocence and shininess. But inside, I was heartbroken. Things weren't going so well. I had been dumped by the boy I was convinced would be my husband one day. I struggled with feeling valuable in light of all the stupid decisions I had made. I was marred by my own willful sins. I was trying to make sense of the mess I had made. I was wondering if my Christian walk would always be hollow and forced. God knew what was in my heart. And He was ready to meet me. It was a Friday night, the last night of camp. The last message till next year. A...

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and erase things I don't want to remember. Things I'm not proud of. Things I wish I had done differently. Things that pinch to remember. Things that still bring tears to my eyes. I find myself envying those with spotless lives and unwavering faith, those people that have never had to clean up a mess they made with their own hand. But then again, I have doubts that anyone like that truly exists. We all have secrets. We all have shame. And we've all been hurt. So why is it so easy to slip into the mindset that I have it harder than someone else? Easy answer: Pride. Seth and I have been studying pride for almost a year now. Over and over we have seen that every sin we encounter has its roots in pride. Every wayward thought, every act of willful disobedience, every sinful mess starts with pride. It was pride that made Eve doubt God's instructions. It was pride that urged David to steal another man's wife and arrange his death. It...

1. It's raining. I confess that I love warm spring rain. It's much better than winter rain. 2. I usually don't get much done on rainy days, but this morning I did the dishes, two loads of laundry, vacuuming, and also got school done. I'm alarmed by this behavior. 3. I'm also planning on making meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner. Someone will be very happy about that. 4. Thing One did pretty well on his phonics and spelling tests this morning. The only word he missed on his spelling was "of". He spelled others like "sweeping", "bugle" and "handle" perfectly, but the tiny two letter word felled him. Sight words are easier to read than spell. 5. Thing Two enjoys taking his clothes off and then trying to get me to care. 6. Post lunch drowsiness is setting in. Unfortunately, I'm the only one afflicted. 7. We've been watching this eagle family for three days. Two of the eggs have hatched and we're waiting on the th...