So...the new member of our family is not flesh and blood, but it's very welcome nonetheless.

A few months ago, my dear Gramma passed away, as you know. Being the kind of grandma that likes to spoil, she left each of her grandkids a portion of her and Grampa's inheritance.

I've mentioned before the financial hardship we have endured the last few years. I am so so so blessed to be able to say that things are improving. It wouldn't have been possible if not for the generous help we received along the way. We are so grateful for the kindness and prayers of our friends and total strangers alike. God has provided when we were sure the mess was too great. NOTHING is too big for our God to handle!

I'm also grateful for my hardworking husband. Without his incredible work ethic, things might have never gotten better. I am beyond proud of him.

Anyway, when my aunt sent me the check from Grandma about a week after her funeral, I sat on my couch and wept. To say there is a hole in our family now is an understatement. The two leads of this play are now gone from our stage, but are in a much better place!

I miss them and think about them everyday. And to receive that generosity from them after they were gone was just overwhelming.

I didn't spend that money right away. We're not so financially secure yet that I still don't have concerns. After you've lived with money-woes for so long, worry in this area sort of becomes your default. I've gotten so used to not buying anything that wasn't absolutely necessary that the idea of spending it seemed scandalous.

But a few months later, after a little more money made it's way into the bank and a bit more debt was paid off , we started talking about using that money. I knew I didn't want to waste it. I wanted to use it for something that would have made Gramma happy. Something that honored her in some way.

I decided to get a new camera.

Not just any camera. A digital SLR. A Nikon D90. Oh yeah.

Gramma took a lot of pictures. She left behind hundreds, if not thousands of photos that her family enjoyed sorting through and reminiscing about recently. She wasn't overly concerned about the mechanics of photography or fancy equipment. In fact, she used a Polaroid that would allow her to see the picture immediately. She could be a little impatient, and this was before digital.

What was important to Gramma was the subject of her photography. The faces of her loved ones.

However, I did inherit my Dad's love for photography as well. Not just snapshots. My Dad has had a knack for photography and a camera in his hand since his teens. When I was a senior, I decided to follow in his footsteps, mostly because I wanted a hobby and my mom's (birdwatching) was way too boring. Trust me. I tried.

So I took photography my senior year, buying an ancient Pentax SLR so that I could use my Dad's lenses. I found that I love taking pictures, even if I'm not really that great at it. Right after we were married, Seth bought me a Nikon D65. It was fabulous...until film stopped being the way to go. So for the past few years I've made do with a cheap digital point and shoot and my cell phone camera.

Well, not anymore, Baby.

Between the day when I ordered my camera to today when it arrived, I've been a bit nervous. Spending great chunks of money in one day is not my norm. I'd much prefer to fritter it away on five dollar sweats. I didn't buy a lens, because after investigating I found that the new camera should work with my old lens. That would make the purchase much smaller. But it felt so risky.

Well, I am so happy and relieved to report that my lens works perfectly, the camera works perfectly, and I'm so happy I got it. I love the click of the shutter, the smell of the lenses (it really does have a scent) and the feel of it hanging around my neck. All of it makes me nostalgic. I think of Gramma. I think of Dad. I think of Photography class. It was definitely a good purchase.

I'm trying very hard not to be materialistic. It is just an expensive
piece of equipment after all. But I also love having a way to not only capture priceless images of my loved ones, but also to express my own art. I can't draw. I can't craft. I can't paint. So this is sort of a creative outlet for me.

I'm sure this was by far the most boring post I've ever written. If you're still reading, my sympathies.

Thank you Gramma & Grampa!