Hot Button of the Day

I couldn't sleep last night. After tossing and turning for awhile, I gave in to the insomnia and logged on to the web, deciding that reading was better than staring at the ceiling. I went to one of my favorite websites, thepioneerwoman.com, and started reading through her archives. I came across a post from several years ago where she revealed that she homeschooled her kids. There were many responses that were supportive and enthusiastic, most of them from other homeschoolers. And there were many people that revealed their discomfort with the whole idea of homeschooling. Being a homeschooler myself, it always boggles my mind why some people find it so repulsive. Sometimes I wonder if we homeschoolers have a sort of brand on our chests declaring to the world that we are strange, socially awkward, denim-jumper-wearing, cult members so they'd better give us a wide berth, because perhaps the weirdness is catching. Last I checked, I didn't have any gross Fringe-style pustules growing on my appendages that could burst and spew abnormalness on those around me, but ya never know.

Anti-homeschoolers always give the same tired arguments too. Homeschooled children aren't socialized. They aren't able to successfully adapt to "the real world". They are too attached to their parents. They are brainwashed. They don't lead structured enough lives. And above all else...they are weird.

Now, I can't argue with the weirdness. My children are weird. My sisters' children are weird. I know lots of homeschooled children that are weird. But, on the other hand, I have yet to meet a child that's not weird. Weirdness seems to be the norm for children. I knew lots of kids growing up that were weird (like myself) and we were not homeschooled. One of my friends ate paper. I knew a girl (in highschool, mind you) that was utterly convinced that animals had eternal souls. My sister had me convinced that the little bubbles in Doritos contained prizes if you bit into them fast enough. In fact, I was probably the weirdest, most socially awkward kid you'd ever meet. A strange mix of shy, talks to herself, talks too much but never talks about anything important, and rather impulsive. And I was never homeschooled. So I would argue that this point, while valid, is also universal. It's kind of like a squid calling a salamander slimy.

The favorite argument is the socialization. Saying homeschooled children aren't "socialized" is kind of like anti-homeschooler's trump card. "I want my children to be well socialized." Now granted, there are families that homeschool for the sole purpose of segregating their children from society, usually for religious reasons. These families have become the stereotype for homeschooling. Thanks, guys. Regardless of how inaccurate this stereotype is, that is what people think of when they hear homeschooled. Nevermind the backlash that would occur if I announced the inaccurate belief that all public schooled children were violent and mannerless and received a sub-par education. It's okay to pick on the homeschoolers though, because they're weird.

Sometimes I wonder if those people have really considered their definition of socialization. By their standards, a child needs to spend time with only their peer groups to be successful. Think about that. They are being taught by their peers, children their own age and own level of world experience, how to converse and form world views. To them, the most important thing is to "fit in" with your peers. Dress the same, enjoy the same sports and hobbies, talk the same, learn things at the same rate. Somehow, this is supposed to develop individuals. This leads to being able to survive in the real world.

I'm trying to remember, now that I'm a member of that "real world", when the last time was that I was segregated with a group that was only my age and my economic bracket. Or when a bell told me when to start and stop working. Or when I had to raise my hand and ask permission to use the restroom.

Yes, peers are important. But they are not the most important part of socializing. It's better for a child to learn how to deal with all people, whether peers or elderly, parents or other authorities, neighbors, people of different backgrounds and cultures, people who are difficult or unkind. It is my sincere belief that, for believers, learning how to interact with people should be fully based in Scriptural principles. How should I talk to people? How can I help people? How do I respond when someone is mean to me? Why should I show kindness to people? The best place to look for these answers is Christ, not a peer. Regardless of where and how a child receives academic instruction, believing parents are the ones responsible for reinforcing social behavior.

Homeschooling is not for everyone, because Christ calls us to different paths in our lives. However, I think a lot of people who claim they could never homeschool are wrong. Most people could homeschool. It's really not as bad as they think. I used to be one of them, by the way. I had a list of excuses. It's too time consuming. I'm too lazy. I'm unorganized. I wouldn't enjoy it. Well, I've learned that the beautiful thing about homeschooling is the flexibility of tailoring education to your child and your family life. It can work, even for giant sloths such as myself. In fact, it is even inspiring me to change some of these areas that I have long struggled with. I have learned that God uses my children to teach me just as much as, if not more than, he uses me to teach them.

I'm still figuring out how our homeschooling experience is going to look. We've really only dabbled in it so far with pre-school and kindergarten for our eldest. I don't know how long we'll do it or what curriculum we'll use. I've made a commitment to never get so stuck in one idea that I have no room for God to move me to something else. For now, God wants us to homeschool. Someday, he might decide something different. Each year, we will pray and re-evaluate to decide what is best for our children.

The things I like best about homeschooling: The flexible schedule, the one on one education experience my son is getting, the freedom to choose what curriculum works best for us, the joy and satisfaction of actually witnessing my son learning, the way I can insert Biblical principles into every subject, the amount of time I get to spend with him (something I thought would be a negative), not having to get up at the crack of dawn and get him on a bus, not having to shell out cash for programs, fundraisers, expensive photos and yearbooks, lunches, etc., not having to worry about conforming to a dress code, being able to do extra curricular activities without sacrificing all of our free time, being able to move ahead in subjects if needed or stay on materials longer if necessary, family field trips....goodness, I could go on and on.

The drawbacks? Umm....having to deal with people who question the validity of my children's education. Apparently, homeschoolers are required to have air tight reasons for their decisions while traditional schoolers can just say "because everyone else does."

I had my doubts when I started this journey, but with each passing year, I'm loving it more. My intention in writing this was mainly to vent (thank you for allowing it). It's not that I want everyone to homeschool like me, because as I said before, as believers we must follow God's path for our lives. But I would encourage the naysayers to lay off a bit. Consider the bigger picture of life, not just your personal experience or bias, before raking us over the coals. We are just doing what we believe is best for our kids, just as you are. Remember, children have been homeschooled far longer than they've been classroomed. It worked for fourteen of our presidents, including the two most famous, Washington and Lincoln. Worked for big names like Winston Churchill, Daniel Webster, George Patton, George Washington Carver, Albert Einstein, Claude Monet, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers, Mozart, Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, C.S. Lewis, Andrew Carnegie, Joseph Pulitzer, and many, many others.

But, I'll admit, they were probably all really weird.