The Truth About Firefighters
I haven't been in the gang for terribly long, but for two years I've been observing this world called the fire department as one "on the inside". The other night I watched Chicago Fire and laughed at all its inaccuracies, and it got me thinking about the things about firefighting that I didn't know before we were on the team. A lot of the job is rather un-glamorous and not attractive, but there are also parts that are good and endearing. Here are my observations based on my own experiences and listening to Seth's thoughts.
1. Firefighters say they are like family. In truth, I still feel like an outsider, but I'm not particularly annoyed by it. Firefighters like to talk about how they are brothers and how their kids play together and their wives chat all the time. It might be true, especially when stationed together for years on end. They have parties and talk and laugh and play sports and go out drinking together. I have never had trouble talking to the other wives at functions, but I also have never found a kindred spirit there. As a couple who has found "family" through our church, what the firefighters call "family" feels a little surface and unnecessary to me. It's not that we don't have relationships with each other, but none of them compare to the ones we've found in siblings in Christ. When I had a baby, it wasn't the fire department that showered us with gifts and meals. When we've had struggles, it wasn't the fire department encouraging us and helping out. So far, I've observed fire department family to mean playing volleyball and drinking together. Yay.
2. Firefighters get divorced. A lot. I remember sitting in a classroom when Seth was in the academy with forty some other wives being told what our husbands were up to, what we could expect, what we should watch out for and such. I had heard statistics and as I looked around the room, my heart felt sad for all the wives in there who wouldn't be married to their firefighters in another ten years. They had a therapist talk about reaching out and getting help, calling this number, etc. if our marriages hit turmoil, and it just felt pointless. The fire department help line isn't the first place I'm going to call if I feel like Seth's pulling away. I'd go for someone with teeth, like my pastor. Much more efficient.
3. Firefighters talk trash about their wives. (No wonder they get divorced so much!) Seth has said how they often sit around talking about how annoying their wives are and how much they hate them. He's been one of the few to not get involved, choosing to say how much he loves me instead. These guys are dissolving their marriages with their own attitudes a little bit at a time.
4. Firefighters aren't really that hot. Well, mine is, of course. But seriously, a lot of them are chubby and balding and sport what we call "pedophile mustaches". They're just normal men, many of whom don't take very good care of themselves (and their wives are long gone, so no one's looking out for them) and the stress of the job takes its toll. Did you know the leading cause of firefighter death is heart attack? Not really surprising when you consider their lifestyle.
5. Firefighters can behave much like a fraternity. They ogle women. They drink excessively. They drop the f-bomb constantly. They're exceedingly mature.
6. Being a firefighter in this city means being pushed into the union. Seriously, they used scare tactics and pressure on the several in Seth's class who hesitated to join. It felt very thug like. And being in the union means constantly getting partisan mail that says we should vote this way or else the world is going to end. We'll lose our jobs and our pensions and be penniless and then who will buy all our beer?! Honestly, I've seen very little that our union has done for us in the past few years except to take our money and tell us how to vote. It's not that I dislike the idea of a union, but I do dislike what the union has become in most cases. They are very self-focused and partisan. And it's kinda sad. BUT, I am glad they have a no-strike clause. I can at least get on board with that.
7. Firefighters are constantly battling things like fleas and bedbugs and communicable diseases. Very glamorous.
8. Firefighters aren't that busy. When they are busy, they can be extremely busy. But it's not constant.
9. I don't know if this is true for other fire-wives, but on the nights Seth is working, I clean up the house a little more than usual. I've gotten the late night call to come pick him up at the hospital before, and my house was a wreck for the babysitter. If it were ever really serious, I'd feel guilty thinking about how messy my house was when fire personnel showed up at my doorstep, so I clean it up. Just in case.
10. Firefighters really do have a cool job. Despite how they are as a group, I've seen Seth thriving in this job. He loves it. It's weird--it's consistent and at the same time always new and challenging. There's plenty of excitement to be had and interesting things to encounter. Like decomposing bodies and exploding train cars and really, really weird people. It's para-military, which Seth does really well with. He likes being told what to do and treated like a peon. He's met some really great guys in the department and a few other Christians. And once in awhile, when he's station hopping, he'll get into one with private rooms with tvs in them. Always a bonus. The schedule is awesome. There's plenty of potential for advancement. The benefits are pretty good. Seriously, you'd think the union would be like "everybody just lay low so no one notices how awesome we've got it here."
It's a great career and I've never seen Seth happier.
And whenever I get in an elevator and see the little fire fighter key thing, I get kinda proud and think "My husband has a key for that," and then I imagine him climbing all over an elevator shaft and my heart smiles. He's where he belongs.
PS: I threw in some pictures especially for you, Carrie! ;)
1. Firefighters say they are like family. In truth, I still feel like an outsider, but I'm not particularly annoyed by it. Firefighters like to talk about how they are brothers and how their kids play together and their wives chat all the time. It might be true, especially when stationed together for years on end. They have parties and talk and laugh and play sports and go out drinking together. I have never had trouble talking to the other wives at functions, but I also have never found a kindred spirit there. As a couple who has found "family" through our church, what the firefighters call "family" feels a little surface and unnecessary to me. It's not that we don't have relationships with each other, but none of them compare to the ones we've found in siblings in Christ. When I had a baby, it wasn't the fire department that showered us with gifts and meals. When we've had struggles, it wasn't the fire department encouraging us and helping out. So far, I've observed fire department family to mean playing volleyball and drinking together. Yay.
2. Firefighters get divorced. A lot. I remember sitting in a classroom when Seth was in the academy with forty some other wives being told what our husbands were up to, what we could expect, what we should watch out for and such. I had heard statistics and as I looked around the room, my heart felt sad for all the wives in there who wouldn't be married to their firefighters in another ten years. They had a therapist talk about reaching out and getting help, calling this number, etc. if our marriages hit turmoil, and it just felt pointless. The fire department help line isn't the first place I'm going to call if I feel like Seth's pulling away. I'd go for someone with teeth, like my pastor. Much more efficient.
3. Firefighters talk trash about their wives. (No wonder they get divorced so much!) Seth has said how they often sit around talking about how annoying their wives are and how much they hate them. He's been one of the few to not get involved, choosing to say how much he loves me instead. These guys are dissolving their marriages with their own attitudes a little bit at a time.
4. Firefighters aren't really that hot. Well, mine is, of course. But seriously, a lot of them are chubby and balding and sport what we call "pedophile mustaches". They're just normal men, many of whom don't take very good care of themselves (and their wives are long gone, so no one's looking out for them) and the stress of the job takes its toll. Did you know the leading cause of firefighter death is heart attack? Not really surprising when you consider their lifestyle.
5. Firefighters can behave much like a fraternity. They ogle women. They drink excessively. They drop the f-bomb constantly. They're exceedingly mature.
6. Being a firefighter in this city means being pushed into the union. Seriously, they used scare tactics and pressure on the several in Seth's class who hesitated to join. It felt very thug like. And being in the union means constantly getting partisan mail that says we should vote this way or else the world is going to end. We'll lose our jobs and our pensions and be penniless and then who will buy all our beer?! Honestly, I've seen very little that our union has done for us in the past few years except to take our money and tell us how to vote. It's not that I dislike the idea of a union, but I do dislike what the union has become in most cases. They are very self-focused and partisan. And it's kinda sad. BUT, I am glad they have a no-strike clause. I can at least get on board with that.
7. Firefighters are constantly battling things like fleas and bedbugs and communicable diseases. Very glamorous.
8. Firefighters aren't that busy. When they are busy, they can be extremely busy. But it's not constant.
9. I don't know if this is true for other fire-wives, but on the nights Seth is working, I clean up the house a little more than usual. I've gotten the late night call to come pick him up at the hospital before, and my house was a wreck for the babysitter. If it were ever really serious, I'd feel guilty thinking about how messy my house was when fire personnel showed up at my doorstep, so I clean it up. Just in case.
10. Firefighters really do have a cool job. Despite how they are as a group, I've seen Seth thriving in this job. He loves it. It's weird--it's consistent and at the same time always new and challenging. There's plenty of excitement to be had and interesting things to encounter. Like decomposing bodies and exploding train cars and really, really weird people. It's para-military, which Seth does really well with. He likes being told what to do and treated like a peon. He's met some really great guys in the department and a few other Christians. And once in awhile, when he's station hopping, he'll get into one with private rooms with tvs in them. Always a bonus. The schedule is awesome. There's plenty of potential for advancement. The benefits are pretty good. Seriously, you'd think the union would be like "everybody just lay low so no one notices how awesome we've got it here."
It's a great career and I've never seen Seth happier.
And whenever I get in an elevator and see the little fire fighter key thing, I get kinda proud and think "My husband has a key for that," and then I imagine him climbing all over an elevator shaft and my heart smiles. He's where he belongs.
PS: I threw in some pictures especially for you, Carrie! ;)
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