Oppressed? Really?
There seems to be a lot of accusation these days that the evangelical community is oppressive towards women. A lot of it comes from outsiders who really don't know what actually goes on in a working, Bible studying church. They only know the stereotypes. But another large part of it is coming from inside the church itself.
And, I'm over here like, "Wha?"
At the outset, understand that I'm not saying abuse of power never happens within a church. Duh. Sin is possible anywhere and Satan likes to target those who are in leadership over believers. This post is written about the majority, not the individuals. I'm not writing off legitimate examples of abuse, but I am focusing on the bride of Christ as a whole.
I will say, when those abuses happen, it is not the fault of the church at large. Man is responsible for his own sin, and abusing power is not what Christ intends.
Here's what I see being brought up a lot as being "oppression" towards women: Women not being able to be pastors; Women having to submit to their husbands; Women expected to be modest in attire and good caregivers of their families;
And here I am, a woman raised in the evangelical community, a woman taught straight from the Scriptures her entire life, and I have never felt even for a moment that I was not valued because I was a female.
You're right, I've never attended a church pastored by a woman. But I've also never been in a church where women were not overwhelmingly active in ministry and even in leadership roles.
I've never heard a pastor say that women are to be doormats.
I've never heard a pastor say that a woman should never wear pants. I may have known a few who personally felt that way, but I never heard them say it from the pulpit.
I've never heard a pastor say that it is EVER okay to physically hurt a woman. Actually, the exact opposite has been preached to my ears.
I've never been in a church where the Pastor wasn't absolutely over the moon about his wife.
I've never even heard a pastor say that women are to stay home and not work. In fact, in the two churches I've been members of, the pastor's wives had jobs.
Maybe it's because I've always been in churches where the actual Bible was studied and not man's opinion.
I hear the complaints the most from bloggers whom I occasionally peruse who are extremely frustrated with the church itself. And it's not that I don't think actual bad experiences happened to these women. I don't doubt that their feelings were legitimately hurt or that they felt oppressed at some point during their evangelical journey. Legalism scars, there's no doubt.
But love covers wounds. Completely.
If you feel as though you have been on the receiving end of another's sin, you have two options. You can cover it and leave it in the past (1 Peter 4:8), or you can go to the person and try to work it out as it says in Matthew 13. I don't think anything honors Christ more than when we deal with sin with grace and humility.
As someone inclined to write when I am struggling, I understand the need to blog about it. But when you have readers that may follow what you say without their own study, it's so important to be careful.
I think it's a disservice to those who have legitimately been oppressed to say that because a woman won't be a pastor in some churches, those churches devalue her. That because a church teaches what Titus says about women's behavior, that they think women are lesser individuals. That because the Bible says that a wife is to submit, anyone who points that out hates women.
The Bible continuously warns women that we have a tendency to be deceived. Easily led astray. Easily controlled by our own pride. Meddlers. Does this mean God thinks that women are stupid, mindless idiots? That we are worse sinners than men? Please. Stop looking on the surface.
In 1 Timothy 2, it talks about how Eve was deceived, but Adam was not. I can sort of see it as Eve being tricked into thinking the sin was okay, and Adam knowing full well that it was not, but not really caring in the moment. Men seem to be more impulsive about sin and women seem to be more duped into thinking their sin is not sin. This of course isn't universal, but it's an interesting concept.
We as women need to stop thinking so much about whether we are seen as equals, because as followers of Christ, ALL of us are called to be servants to each other, regardless of our gender. Is it so vital to hold the same roles as a man in church? Is the preaching from the pulpit more important than the teaching in a classroom? Is being told I can't do something really oppression? Does being submissive mean I am less valuable?
No! No! No!
We need to be less reactionary in our thinking and more interested in serving. If we are constantly irritated that women are meant to be different than man, we're missing out on so many lessons and opportunities to be a help to someone else.
I know that I have struggled with wanting to control my husband, and to be honest, I know exactly how to do it. Oh, that I would be more concerned with letting the Holy Spirit teach him and not trying to control how and when it happens. I've wanted the leaders of our church to do what I wanted them to do and grew frustrated when they went in a different direction. Oh, that I was more concerned with the people God had already put in my life for the specific reason that I could be Jesus to them. I have believed wholeheartedly that my opinion was God breathed, only to discover later through Bible study and the Holy Spirit's conviction that I was wrong and led others astray in the process.
Frankly, pursuing silence and being demure never led to me making a giant arse of myself. Hindsight.
So, please stop telling me I am oppressed and instead teach me what God expects of me as a woman and a believer. Please stop telling me I need to be the same as a man and instead encourage me to explore what it means to be a godly woman and how it will look in my life. Quit telling me I should be unhappy that I have different roles in the church and start showing me how to fulfill the ones God does assign to me. I'm not interested in being a feminist. I want to be a Jesusist.
He must become greater. I must become less.
And, I'm over here like, "Wha?"
At the outset, understand that I'm not saying abuse of power never happens within a church. Duh. Sin is possible anywhere and Satan likes to target those who are in leadership over believers. This post is written about the majority, not the individuals. I'm not writing off legitimate examples of abuse, but I am focusing on the bride of Christ as a whole.
I will say, when those abuses happen, it is not the fault of the church at large. Man is responsible for his own sin, and abusing power is not what Christ intends.
Here's what I see being brought up a lot as being "oppression" towards women: Women not being able to be pastors; Women having to submit to their husbands; Women expected to be modest in attire and good caregivers of their families;
And here I am, a woman raised in the evangelical community, a woman taught straight from the Scriptures her entire life, and I have never felt even for a moment that I was not valued because I was a female.
You're right, I've never attended a church pastored by a woman. But I've also never been in a church where women were not overwhelmingly active in ministry and even in leadership roles.
I've never heard a pastor say that women are to be doormats.
I've never heard a pastor say that a woman should never wear pants. I may have known a few who personally felt that way, but I never heard them say it from the pulpit.
I've never heard a pastor say that it is EVER okay to physically hurt a woman. Actually, the exact opposite has been preached to my ears.
I've never been in a church where the Pastor wasn't absolutely over the moon about his wife.
I've never even heard a pastor say that women are to stay home and not work. In fact, in the two churches I've been members of, the pastor's wives had jobs.
Maybe it's because I've always been in churches where the actual Bible was studied and not man's opinion.
I hear the complaints the most from bloggers whom I occasionally peruse who are extremely frustrated with the church itself. And it's not that I don't think actual bad experiences happened to these women. I don't doubt that their feelings were legitimately hurt or that they felt oppressed at some point during their evangelical journey. Legalism scars, there's no doubt.
But love covers wounds. Completely.
If you feel as though you have been on the receiving end of another's sin, you have two options. You can cover it and leave it in the past (1 Peter 4:8), or you can go to the person and try to work it out as it says in Matthew 13. I don't think anything honors Christ more than when we deal with sin with grace and humility.
As someone inclined to write when I am struggling, I understand the need to blog about it. But when you have readers that may follow what you say without their own study, it's so important to be careful.
I think it's a disservice to those who have legitimately been oppressed to say that because a woman won't be a pastor in some churches, those churches devalue her. That because a church teaches what Titus says about women's behavior, that they think women are lesser individuals. That because the Bible says that a wife is to submit, anyone who points that out hates women.
The Bible continuously warns women that we have a tendency to be deceived. Easily led astray. Easily controlled by our own pride. Meddlers. Does this mean God thinks that women are stupid, mindless idiots? That we are worse sinners than men? Please. Stop looking on the surface.
In 1 Timothy 2, it talks about how Eve was deceived, but Adam was not. I can sort of see it as Eve being tricked into thinking the sin was okay, and Adam knowing full well that it was not, but not really caring in the moment. Men seem to be more impulsive about sin and women seem to be more duped into thinking their sin is not sin. This of course isn't universal, but it's an interesting concept.
We as women need to stop thinking so much about whether we are seen as equals, because as followers of Christ, ALL of us are called to be servants to each other, regardless of our gender. Is it so vital to hold the same roles as a man in church? Is the preaching from the pulpit more important than the teaching in a classroom? Is being told I can't do something really oppression? Does being submissive mean I am less valuable?
No! No! No!
We need to be less reactionary in our thinking and more interested in serving. If we are constantly irritated that women are meant to be different than man, we're missing out on so many lessons and opportunities to be a help to someone else.
I know that I have struggled with wanting to control my husband, and to be honest, I know exactly how to do it. Oh, that I would be more concerned with letting the Holy Spirit teach him and not trying to control how and when it happens. I've wanted the leaders of our church to do what I wanted them to do and grew frustrated when they went in a different direction. Oh, that I was more concerned with the people God had already put in my life for the specific reason that I could be Jesus to them. I have believed wholeheartedly that my opinion was God breathed, only to discover later through Bible study and the Holy Spirit's conviction that I was wrong and led others astray in the process.
Frankly, pursuing silence and being demure never led to me making a giant arse of myself. Hindsight.
So, please stop telling me I am oppressed and instead teach me what God expects of me as a woman and a believer. Please stop telling me I need to be the same as a man and instead encourage me to explore what it means to be a godly woman and how it will look in my life. Quit telling me I should be unhappy that I have different roles in the church and start showing me how to fulfill the ones God does assign to me. I'm not interested in being a feminist. I want to be a Jesusist.
He must become greater. I must become less.
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