It's my party

I'm not a party animal.

I don't like hosting big affairs. My own wedding reception was a cause of plenty of internal turmoil. You won't find me counting down the days between my kids' birthdays, just itching with anticipation of a huge celebratory bash.

I've pretty much come to terms with this. I used to feel bad about not being the kind of person that loves large, noisy social gatherings. It seems that being a good hostess means enjoying throwing big parties. I'd hear a lot that I was supposed to in to the whole party scene, because that's what a good wife and mom does.

I'm a little more comfortable in my own skin now, and I've learned that my feelings are just as valid as someone else's. But I still don't stick up for myself when someone pokes at my decision to not love big parties.

Here are some common misconceptions that are assigned to us non-partiers that I feel deserve a response.

1. We don't like people. It's not that we don't like being with other people. It has more to do with the fact that we don't feel like we're gaining genuine human interaction in a large social setting. I will never feel completely comfortable in a group, and I much prefer being one on one or in small gatherings. That's where I feel like I get to know people best.

2. We are shy. Not necessarily. I wouldn't describe myself as shy. I have no problem speaking up, meeting new people, and carrying on conversation. But you probably won't see the real me in those situations. Shy's not the right term--more like guarded. I don't open up at the drop of a hat, although I'm much better than I used to be. So there's that.

3. We're cheap. Not really, we just like to spend our money differently.

4. We don't love our kids enough. This one's just downright silly, and probably inspired this post in some ways. I was reading an article written by a mom who was getting a little irritated with the child birthday party scene in our country--ya know, huge, blown out affairs that cost a fortune. I agreed with many of her sentiments, but of course, there were some comments about her being a selfish mom because she doesn't throw birthday parties. I had to laugh because this actually happened to me in real life, and I couldn't believe at the time that how our family celebrates birthdays is really a big deal to anyone else. We prefer quiet, homespun, family birthday celebrations. Often we take a trip or go somewhere special for a child's birthday. We've had a few where it's just mom and dad and kids, or where we invite grandparents over for dinner, and a few where we've had extended family. No matter what, we take the time to make the birthday child feel special and let them know we love them very much. Thing One likes to hear about how he was when he was born and a little baby. Thing Two likes to eat cake. Lots of cake. I cherish these celebrations and the memories they store up. Just because we don't rent out facilities or order twenty pizzas or invite 50 people does not mean we aren't good parents.

5. We're socially awkward. Well, this may have some truth to it, but I'd like to just point out that I married a social butterfly who loves big parties, and he's probably one of the most socially awkward people I know. (Love you, honey. :D )

6. We're boring. Okay, maybe we are. But we're happy.

So, no, I don't see myself changing into the it girl anytime in my life when it comes to parties and hostessing. But if you want to come over for a quiet (relatively anyway--we do have three kids) dinner with us, that would totally rock my world.

In the meantime, I'll be reading books and writing short stories with my cup of coffee.

It's a wild life.