Year in Review
I openly admit that I am very glad that 2008 is over. Done. Behind me. Gone.
It wasn't my favorite year so far.
I don't mean to complain or sound bitter, it's just that so much of what happened this year was a trial of some sort. Just about every aspect of my life was challenged in one way or another. Seth and I both lost our grandpas within a week of each other. We faced questions about job security. We dragged around the burden of our growing financial mess. We were forced to adjust to a difficult schedule of Seth working two jobs. We lost relationships. Our parenting decisions were challenged. Our marriage was tested. Oh, and of course the life changing diagnosis of Diabetes.
Countless trials. Thousands of tearful prayers. Overwhelming questions.
A few of these trials were expected--even old news for us. But I can say there were two that really blindsided me. One was diabetes. We went from being two completely healthy, rarely-using-our-insurance people, to regular doctor's visits, near emergencies, insulin shots, an overload of information on Type 1 diabetes, and a total lifestyle change. Seth hadn't been to the doctor in seven years. Now he's completely accustomed to the daily grind of maintaining control of his disease.
The other that took me completely by surprise was conflict in our marriage. I don't mean to be boastful, but Seth and I usually have the kind of relationship that seems seamless, fluid, no arguments or problems. After 13 years of being together, seven of which we've been married, I totally took it for granted that it was a well-oiled machine. That's exactly when trouble strikes--when you aren't looking out for any problems because it seems so impossible. We've learned never to take anything for granted. Just because things are going well now, does not mean that we can let down our guard for the dangers that threaten us. As the Bible says, "If you think you are standing firm, watch out..."
But God is good.
God is SO good.
I can't say that all of these issues have resolved. I still face heartache as I read through my list of trials. Memories pinch, tears form. But every trial has brought with it a lesson, the rewards of which are sweet and comforting. There are silver linings to every problem:
Our grandpas are home with Jesus. Their faith has been rewarded with sight.
Seth loves his jobs, and has been able to put behind dreams of another career and really say, "This is where I want to be in twenty years".
We have seen God's provision in so many ways, through people and circumstances we never could have imagined. God's people have shown His love to us with their help and prayers. We can never say thank you enough. There was one particular instance where Seth crossed paths with a believer who was incredibly sensitive to his situation even without him telling her about it. She didn't know us. We've never seen her before or since this single interaction. But she prayed with him. She gave him $100 without a second thought. She gave him advice and a Christian book. We are awed by the love shown through this stranger. I would not be surprised at all if this woman prays for us still, wherever she is.
Through the loss of relationships, I have learned the truth in turning my cheek and being peace loving. I have understood forgiveness better. I have been reminded of how easy it is to lash out and become the kind of person you don't want to be. This is a lesson I do not wish to repeat, so I'm keeping it at the forefront of my mind.
Being challenged as a parent has deepened my convictions and caused me to love my children more.
Diabetes has changed our lives in so many good ways. We're healthier, lighter, and have a lot more energy. It's been a great lesson in self control. And as a doctor said to us, "The best way to get healthy is to be diagnosed with a chronic disease." He was right. We've even been able to be compensated for this disease by participating in a diabetic drug study. God knew long ago that we would need the extra income. It wasn't by accident that Seth's symptoms developed this year, which is amazing when you consider that Type 1 is usually diagnosed much younger.
And I can say without a moment's hesitation that we are more deeply in love with each other than we were a year ago. We are better able to serve one another. The seamlessness of our relationship is more gratifying after going through the fire. And we have learned that no marriage will be perfect all of the time. That's why they call marriage work. It takes constant pruning and care.
So while I'm glad to leave 2008 behind, I will carry its lessons with me. I don't want to have struggled in vain. And I'm sure that 2009 will have it's own trials and tears. But that's okay. I want this year to bring me closer to my Savior, my husband, and my children. I know that God is only looking out for my ultimate good in each and every situation. I don't face these problems alone, and they won't be without their own benefits and joys.
So bring it on, 2009. We've been waiting for you.
It wasn't my favorite year so far.
I don't mean to complain or sound bitter, it's just that so much of what happened this year was a trial of some sort. Just about every aspect of my life was challenged in one way or another. Seth and I both lost our grandpas within a week of each other. We faced questions about job security. We dragged around the burden of our growing financial mess. We were forced to adjust to a difficult schedule of Seth working two jobs. We lost relationships. Our parenting decisions were challenged. Our marriage was tested. Oh, and of course the life changing diagnosis of Diabetes.
Countless trials. Thousands of tearful prayers. Overwhelming questions.
A few of these trials were expected--even old news for us. But I can say there were two that really blindsided me. One was diabetes. We went from being two completely healthy, rarely-using-our-insurance people, to regular doctor's visits, near emergencies, insulin shots, an overload of information on Type 1 diabetes, and a total lifestyle change. Seth hadn't been to the doctor in seven years. Now he's completely accustomed to the daily grind of maintaining control of his disease.
The other that took me completely by surprise was conflict in our marriage. I don't mean to be boastful, but Seth and I usually have the kind of relationship that seems seamless, fluid, no arguments or problems. After 13 years of being together, seven of which we've been married, I totally took it for granted that it was a well-oiled machine. That's exactly when trouble strikes--when you aren't looking out for any problems because it seems so impossible. We've learned never to take anything for granted. Just because things are going well now, does not mean that we can let down our guard for the dangers that threaten us. As the Bible says, "If you think you are standing firm, watch out..."
But God is good.
God is SO good.
I can't say that all of these issues have resolved. I still face heartache as I read through my list of trials. Memories pinch, tears form. But every trial has brought with it a lesson, the rewards of which are sweet and comforting. There are silver linings to every problem:
Our grandpas are home with Jesus. Their faith has been rewarded with sight.
Seth loves his jobs, and has been able to put behind dreams of another career and really say, "This is where I want to be in twenty years".
We have seen God's provision in so many ways, through people and circumstances we never could have imagined. God's people have shown His love to us with their help and prayers. We can never say thank you enough. There was one particular instance where Seth crossed paths with a believer who was incredibly sensitive to his situation even without him telling her about it. She didn't know us. We've never seen her before or since this single interaction. But she prayed with him. She gave him $100 without a second thought. She gave him advice and a Christian book. We are awed by the love shown through this stranger. I would not be surprised at all if this woman prays for us still, wherever she is.
Through the loss of relationships, I have learned the truth in turning my cheek and being peace loving. I have understood forgiveness better. I have been reminded of how easy it is to lash out and become the kind of person you don't want to be. This is a lesson I do not wish to repeat, so I'm keeping it at the forefront of my mind.
Being challenged as a parent has deepened my convictions and caused me to love my children more.
Diabetes has changed our lives in so many good ways. We're healthier, lighter, and have a lot more energy. It's been a great lesson in self control. And as a doctor said to us, "The best way to get healthy is to be diagnosed with a chronic disease." He was right. We've even been able to be compensated for this disease by participating in a diabetic drug study. God knew long ago that we would need the extra income. It wasn't by accident that Seth's symptoms developed this year, which is amazing when you consider that Type 1 is usually diagnosed much younger.
And I can say without a moment's hesitation that we are more deeply in love with each other than we were a year ago. We are better able to serve one another. The seamlessness of our relationship is more gratifying after going through the fire. And we have learned that no marriage will be perfect all of the time. That's why they call marriage work. It takes constant pruning and care.
So while I'm glad to leave 2008 behind, I will carry its lessons with me. I don't want to have struggled in vain. And I'm sure that 2009 will have it's own trials and tears. But that's okay. I want this year to bring me closer to my Savior, my husband, and my children. I know that God is only looking out for my ultimate good in each and every situation. I don't face these problems alone, and they won't be without their own benefits and joys.
So bring it on, 2009. We've been waiting for you.
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Kim