Coming Clean

There's a lot of buzz out there about women, especially mothers, comparing and judging each other. I don't think anyone is immune from giving or receiving it. I've been feeling shoved under the microscope of popular opinion lately, which isn't pleasant. I'm not the kind of person to care in the sense that I'll let judgment change my mind, but at the same time, it still gets tiring to have to defend yourself all the time, even if it is just mental responses and reasoning without actual verbalization.

But I feel like being honest, so, here you go. My mom confessions. Judge away.

I let my kids play with electronics. Too much sometimes.

We eat sugar. GASP!

We also eat out at least once every week. We're talking Happy Meals and carbonated beverages here. 

I give my kids Tylenol when they're sick.

I don't force them to eat foods they can't stomach.

My house is often messy. Strike that. Nearly always messy.

I let them stay up pretty late.

I'm going on three kids here not potty trained before age three.

They've received every vaccination their doctor has recommended.

They haven't been to the dentist yet.

They frequently stay in pajamas all day.

I don't make them call me "Ma'am".

They aren't baptized yet and one prefers not to take communion.

Judging by this list, you'd think I have rude, lazy, unhealthy, impolite, spoiled, unholy, obese children. But, that's the problem. This list is not a complete evaluation of our family. You would be judging without having full information.

Yes, all those things are true. And while some may judge those things, they are actually the result of intentional decisions on my part. I don't feel like any of them are compromises I'm making because I just can't make the ideal work. I have a bigger picture sort of plan here and I tend not to sweat the small things in and of themselves.

Yes, we play electronics. But we also read books, together and separately. We take walks. We hike. We bike. We play games. We travel. We imagine. We laugh.

Yes, we eat sugar and fast food. But it's with moderation, as in all things. We don't eat whatever we want, whenever we want. Food is not an idol around here. We don't hate the "bad" things or praise the "good" things. We stress being sensible and not making food a bigger deal than it needs to be. We allow them, especially the one with sensory issues, to embrace the foods they love while also trying new things at their own pace.

Yes, I give them Tylenol for fevers. And rub eucalyptus and olive oil on their feet when they're coughing. And administer Albuterol when they're having an asthma attack.

We stress kindness above manners. Manners are a form of kindness, but they don't address the heart issue of learning to respect people out of love and not duty. I couldn't care less if they address me as "Ma'am", but I care greatly that they have a heart tuned toward others.

I listen to their doctor. I also research other options. And then I make an informed choice about their health decisions. But at the end of the day, I know it's only by the grace of God that my kids are healthy. There are no guarantees.

They aren't baptized, but they do claim to love Jesus. I want their faith to be genuine and not coerced. So, I spend a lot of time talking about Jesus, helping them read their Bibles, answering questions, trying to be a good example, and praying like crazy. Again, there are no guarantees.

Balance is an important thing to me. I don't want to be a legalist or one who chucks caution to the wind. I want to find that sweet spot in the middle, where we can enjoy things, but also learn self-control. Where we can make smart decisions, but also remember that we live in a fallen world and aren't promised perfection. Where we strive to love Jesus and others, and allow people to be different and not look down on them because they aren't living up to our preferences.

I want us to work and play.

To eat green beans and ice cream.

To clean and make messes.

To work hard and to know our limitations.

To dream and to understand reality.

To be sober and laugh.

To be discerning and loving.

To be full of truth and grace.

And hopefully, when we aren't so concerned with the extremes or distracted by man's rules for life, we will be able to see Jesus more clearly and focus on him.

After all, Jesus is the only standard worth pursuing.