Livin' in America

Ah, summertime. Lemonade. Sprinklers. Grilling. Vacations. Fireworks.

And nudity.

Oh, America. Sometimes I look at you and think, you are like a hormone crazed junior higher with a big mouth.

But that would be insulting to junior highers.

There is no question that modesty is sorely lacking in our country. Everywhere, and I mean everywhere you look, people (mostly women) are flaunting their bodies. It's not just at pools and beaches. It's in theaters and restaurants and stores and libraries and churches. Shorts are so short these days I wonder how girls keep hot leather seats from leaving burn marks on their rear ends. We flaunt our bodies in the name of exercise, of health, of beauty, of freedom, of self expression.

I can hear all the feminists starting to recoil. "Oh, great, not another woman-shaming post about covering our bodies, furthering our patriarchal society and men's control over our choices."

Yes, this post will have a lot to do with women, because that's what I am. But for the record, and for the love of all that is good and right in the world, dudes, you need to hike up your pants NOW.

As much as the feminists might reject me, I feel the same sense of overwhelming nausea about them.

Some women will tell you that it's their right to dress however they want. They dress for themselves, not for men. If they want to wear a string bikini, it's none of men's business and they can just avert their eyes if they have a problem with it. They dress in a way that makes them feel good and boosts their ego.

But, come on. Let's get down to it. Saying that you wear certain things for you is absolutely true. Saying that it's no one else's problem is a load of crap.

As a woman, it has been my experience that I and the great majority of women want our "right" to wear whatever we want for one good reason: power.

If you can rock a bikini or daisy dukes, you feel empowered around men (and women for that matter). They notice you, and their attention makes you feel like you can control them.

Lest you think I'm a prude, I think the same could be said for virtually any clothing. Intent to control can be behind jeans and a t-shirt just as much as a bikini. Pride is not a respecter of clothing styles. It can lurk in just about anything.

But for the sake of this blog post, I will talk about clothing that exposes us. In our culture, it's not enough just to accentuate the feminine silhouette anymore or wear a pair of heels. Now we have to be virtually naked, or just downright naked really. This is going to make me sound old, but I really cannot believe what some parents allow their teenage girls to wear. Like, really, people? You're okay with your fourteen year old walking around in what is barely more than her underwear?

I had parents who gave a crap. Of course, I tried to get around the rules now and then, but I really didn't want to get into a conversation about modesty with them (how embarrassing, mo-om), so for the most part I kept things tame. There were plenty of times though when my mom said "that's too short" or "that's too low", usually when we were shopping so certain things never even made it into our house. When I was a teenager, there was a fad of wearing strappy tank tops with a "bra" built in. My parents said nuh-uh, no way. I'm glad they did. Because there's no way Homegirl's gonna wear anything like that, and it would be a lot harder to defend my position if she had proof that I was a slutty teenager.

I hear you say, in some cultures, women walk around topless. In some cultures, women are required to be covered from head to toe.

But we aren't those cultures. We are America, a sexually obsessed country. We're not able to see breasts as baby food. And women in those cultures aren't flaunting their bodies like we American women, even in their semi-nude states. They aren't attempting to control men with their sexuality. Sex is king in our country. We want it to be easy to find, easy to access, and easy to leave behind when we're ready for something new. We want it to saturate everything--our movies, books, tv, social media, relationships. Sex in America is all about self. What I want. What I say goes. What makes me feel good. Sex is nothing more than a tool to control others.

So instead of worrying about what sex looks like in other cultures, we Christians need to figure out how to exist purely in our own culture. If our culture touted long jean jumpers as the most sexy thing a woman can wear, you can bet your bikini I'd be like, death to jean jumpers.

But shouldn't it be a man's responsibility to control himself? Oh, yes, absolutely. One of my biggest pet peeves is that all the responsibility of sexual purity tends to get placed on the shoulders of women. That is not how it's supposed to work. Men are responsible for their eyes, for their thoughts, for whatever lust resides in their hearts. No one can make you sin. Sin is always your choice.

So, I'm not even going to talk about dressing modestly for the sake of saving men from temptation. That's a different post.

Dressing modestly isn't something we do for men. It's our reasonable act of worship to God.

When we have a right relationship with God, we don't need others to notice our clothing or bodies.

When we have the mindset of a servant of God, we don't need to try to control men with our femininity.

When our hearts are consumed with loving God, loving self becomes uglier and uglier.

I'm not saying we can never wear cute clothes or enjoy a little fashion. But we really need to look at our motives. Are they pure? Are they self-serving? And also really look at our clothing choices with an objective eye. Does this reveal too much? Does it fit incorrectly? Is this too much skin?

There will always be someone with a higher standard of modesty than you. And there will always be someone with less. So instead of comparing to others, consider your own heart. Consider how you will make Jesus look. Consider how infinitely valuable you are to Christ. Does what you're wearing express your worth? Does it say "notice Jesus"?

Or does it simply cry "notice me."

Romans 12:1--"Therefore, I urge you, brothers AND sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. This is your true and proper worship."

For your reading: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, 1 Timothy 2:9-10, Philippians 2:3-11, Proverbs 31, 1 Thessalonians 4:1-12, 1 Corinthians 10:23-33