My Altar

I can still remember placing the first stone.

It was just an ordinary hill, on an ordinary road, in an ordinary life. And then suddenly, it wasn't ordinary anymore.

One rock, it's cold, sharp edges mimicking the condition of my heart, placed on the hill alone. So small, so insignificant, and yet, I could feel the beginning of something bigger than I could imagine hovering in the air around me.

With one stone, I marked the moment where simple met extraordinary, tumult met peace, chaos met order. I wanted to remember what it felt to be drowning and suddenly feel the hand of grace gripping me, pulling me from my own tragedy.

With one stone, I began my altar.

It would become my place of worship. I'd come there to remember you, to think about what we have been through together. Sometimes I could only leave pebbles--small victories and hurdles leapt. Other times, I didn't feel strong enough to lay the boulder that I felt an event deserved. But my altar steadily grew, my one rock turned to dozens, to hundreds, till it was a mountain that could only be looked upon in awe.

When I considered each rock on its own, it was hard to find meaning. They seemed so random and disconnected. Some smooth. Some gray. Some jagged. Some ugly. They were as varied as they were numerous.

But together, each stone wove a pattern, a beautiful design traced by the finger of an artist. Together, they meant something. Together, they were a map of my life, my trials, my heartaches, my sins, my struggles, my failures. And the map led me to you time and time again.

My mountain towers now, and it keeps growing. Where once these were stones that wounded my heart, now the only tears I shed are of joy, of being awestruck with the beauty of my mess.

This altar exists for you. Because of you.

Without you, there would be no meaning in my mountain. There would be no story in the stones. There would be no reason to be filled with wonder.

I visit my altar often, my fingers tracing the stones as my worship pours like an offering to you. I imagine the countless other altars like my own, each one containing hundreds of stones of remembrance, outlining the myriad of ways you changed a life for the better. Our altars are our way of remembering and honoring the only one who could love miserable creatures such as ourselves.

Thank you for my altar. Thank you for giving me stones to build upon. It stands for you. May all who see it wonder at the one who can take ugly stones and make them into something beautiful.