"Well, At Least Our Pants Fit Better"
It's funny what you take for granted until you can't have it anymore.
Like rain during the summer. Or sleep until you have children. Or electricity until a power outage.
Or food till you're a diabetic....or married to one.
This last Thursday (07-31-08), my husband was diagnosed as having diabetes. It came out of nowhere and surprises everyone we tell. He doesn't seem to fit into the nice little "categories" of people that we usually hear as having diabetes. He's not obese, inactive, older, and has no family history of the disease.
It's only been five days, and yet so many things have changed so drastically, and a kaleidoscope of emotion is constantly whirling about. It's so easy to be frustrated by something that affects your health that you had no control over. Though he hasn't spoken it aloud, I'm sure the thought "why me?" has crossed his mind. It's certainly crossed mine. It doesn't seem fair that a 27 year old with no weight problems should have to suddenly change every eating habit he ever had, while others can eat whatever they want and weigh whatever they weigh with no consequences. I admit to feelings of fear over it as well. I have known this person for thirteen years now, and I've never ever considered the possibility that he would face a chronic disease. I've considered his mortality in relation to his pursuit of a civil service job, either police or fire. And I'd come to terms with the remote risks associated with these careers. But never have I considered that his threat would come from his own blood.
We're doing our best to focus on the positives. It's actually a good thing it was discovered at such a young age. He can take steps to minimize complications now, instead of spending the next twenty years dragging around bad eating habits that would make changes so much more difficult. We've already begun to lose some weight, which, unless you're a newborn baby, is pretty much always a good thing. We feel better because we're not eating junk. And by far the best thing is that our relationship is strengthened through this circumstance. We are each other's allies in this battle. Trials have a way of sealing the bond between us.
But my heart still hurts for him. It seems so silly to get so worked up about food, but anyone who has had to make drastic changes to their diet knows how difficult it can be. We never really considered what we were eating or how much we were eating and now it's like culture shock. Nobody really follows those "serving sizes" listed on foods until they have to. Nobody thinks about that ice cream cone, or the plate full of pasta, or the cold Pepsi on a hot day until someone tells you that those foods are off limits to you. And as his wife, I can't let him go through this alone. I ate some rice today and felt so guilty afterwards. Seth loves rice. And I love Seth. So, this new way of life is for our whole family, not just him. Of course, he told me that I didn't have to eat like he did, but I told him no way was he going to lose weight and be all healthy while I sported love handles and chowed on pastries.
I know the day will come when we have adjusted and we don't really mind our way of life anymore. Gradually, we'll get used to this disease; we'll understand it; we'll know how to manage it. It will not always be at the top of our priorities or the topic of our conversations. There will come a time when we're not starving all the time and we actually will prefer the taste of Diet Rite. And above all, I believe that God will use this to help others. Diabetes is not beyond God's control or His ability to work. I know we will see good things come from this.
But for the next few weeks, if you see us and we seem jittery or miserable, it's only because we're hungry and we'd give anything to eat your brownies. It's nothing personal.
Like rain during the summer. Or sleep until you have children. Or electricity until a power outage.
Or food till you're a diabetic....or married to one.
This last Thursday (07-31-08), my husband was diagnosed as having diabetes. It came out of nowhere and surprises everyone we tell. He doesn't seem to fit into the nice little "categories" of people that we usually hear as having diabetes. He's not obese, inactive, older, and has no family history of the disease.
It's only been five days, and yet so many things have changed so drastically, and a kaleidoscope of emotion is constantly whirling about. It's so easy to be frustrated by something that affects your health that you had no control over. Though he hasn't spoken it aloud, I'm sure the thought "why me?" has crossed his mind. It's certainly crossed mine. It doesn't seem fair that a 27 year old with no weight problems should have to suddenly change every eating habit he ever had, while others can eat whatever they want and weigh whatever they weigh with no consequences. I admit to feelings of fear over it as well. I have known this person for thirteen years now, and I've never ever considered the possibility that he would face a chronic disease. I've considered his mortality in relation to his pursuit of a civil service job, either police or fire. And I'd come to terms with the remote risks associated with these careers. But never have I considered that his threat would come from his own blood.
We're doing our best to focus on the positives. It's actually a good thing it was discovered at such a young age. He can take steps to minimize complications now, instead of spending the next twenty years dragging around bad eating habits that would make changes so much more difficult. We've already begun to lose some weight, which, unless you're a newborn baby, is pretty much always a good thing. We feel better because we're not eating junk. And by far the best thing is that our relationship is strengthened through this circumstance. We are each other's allies in this battle. Trials have a way of sealing the bond between us.
But my heart still hurts for him. It seems so silly to get so worked up about food, but anyone who has had to make drastic changes to their diet knows how difficult it can be. We never really considered what we were eating or how much we were eating and now it's like culture shock. Nobody really follows those "serving sizes" listed on foods until they have to. Nobody thinks about that ice cream cone, or the plate full of pasta, or the cold Pepsi on a hot day until someone tells you that those foods are off limits to you. And as his wife, I can't let him go through this alone. I ate some rice today and felt so guilty afterwards. Seth loves rice. And I love Seth. So, this new way of life is for our whole family, not just him. Of course, he told me that I didn't have to eat like he did, but I told him no way was he going to lose weight and be all healthy while I sported love handles and chowed on pastries.
I know the day will come when we have adjusted and we don't really mind our way of life anymore. Gradually, we'll get used to this disease; we'll understand it; we'll know how to manage it. It will not always be at the top of our priorities or the topic of our conversations. There will come a time when we're not starving all the time and we actually will prefer the taste of Diet Rite. And above all, I believe that God will use this to help others. Diabetes is not beyond God's control or His ability to work. I know we will see good things come from this.
But for the next few weeks, if you see us and we seem jittery or miserable, it's only because we're hungry and we'd give anything to eat your brownies. It's nothing personal.
Comments
Hang in there.
Love,
Noelle