Confessions of a Pit Dweller
I just finished reading “Get Out of That Pit” by Beth Moore. I picked it up at the library the other day, not because I knew I needed to read it, or even because I knew I was in a pit, but for no other reason than I happen to like Moore’s books and thought I’d give this one a whirl.
Boy was that a good call.
I wasn’t sure when I began reading what this whole deal with a “pit” was. But it soon became evident that I was indeed in one right now. Moore defines a pit as coming to a place in your life where you “feel stuck, you can’t stand up, and you’ve lost vision.” We can find ourselves in pits for various reasons. Perhaps someone pushed us in by their sins against us. We can stumble in by accident and then have no idea how to get out. Or we can jump in willingly by our sin.
I think I found myself in this current pit by stumbling in. It didn’t begin with sin, but I certainly wasn’t looking where I was going and what started out as innocent led me to the bottom of a slimy cavern. Once I was down there, I moved in and made myself comfortable. I papered the walls with my failed good intentions and laid down a carpet of broken dreams. I figured there was no way I was getting out of this place anyway, so I might as well just chalk it up to my fate in life. And somewhere along the way I decided that this miserable place was somewhere I’d just have to learn to like. After all, be content in every situation, right?
I have struggled for a long time with feeling like I am not supposed to get out of this pit. I often thought, and still do think sometimes, that I’m where I am because that’s where God wants me, as some sort of punishment for just about every bad thing I’ve ever done. Kind of like God is saying “that’s what you get, kid”. As if striving to climb out would negate the punishment I am supposed to endure with my mouth shut.
I think this comes from a wrong view of God that has been cultivated all throughout my life. I spent my early years in a Christian school that emphasized rules more than relationship. So my early visions of God had a whole lot to do with guilt and punishment. And of course, we know that God’s perfection makes us totally unworthy. But that’s where Christ is supposed to come in. Yes, I was taught salvation through Christ. But after that, it was emphasized that in order to maintain God’s favor, I had to follow these rules, many of them manmade. This led to the idea that God would love me less if I didn’t.
What a day it was when I discovered the true depth of the love of God! God’s love is not limited by my actions, positive or otherwise. There is no cap on it. And I cannot receive or maintain God’s favor by my actions. The only reason I have God’s favor is because of Jesus Christ. Not because I’m a good person who makes good choices, but because the lavish grace of Jesus has enraptured my soul. So when God looks at me, He doesn’t see a worthless sinner in need of a beating. He sees His beloved Son stretched out on a cross, closing the chasm between me and the Almighty.
I also struggle with the evil mindset that God doesn’t want me to be happy. This is a lie straight from Satan, who is trying to poison my faith. God wants my life to be rich, full in blessings, full of peace…life more abundant. God did not call me to be His child to make me miserable. On the contrary, true joy can only be found in a life marked by God’s touch. No, life as His child isn’t always easy. But it should always be wonderful. Joyful. Happy in Christ. The idea that God wants me to live a restricted and miserable life is like me saying I want my children to go through their years overcome with melancholy and guilt, always sober and morose because they aren’t perfect. Never! I want them to be happy, full of vitality and joy, secure in knowing that I love them regardless. And how much more does my Father in Heaven love me?
No, God doesn’t want me to stay in my pit another second. He stands at the edge with a hand outstretched to His precious child below. He’s been there for a long time, calling me, wanting so badly for me to look up through the slime and darkness and see that He is there, longing to take me out of the mire and set my feet upon a rock. God is not in the business of putting locks on our cells. We are free to escape, free to run to Him and leave the chains behind. If we are in our cells, it’s because we ourselves are holding the door shut.
I no longer want this pit to be my home. I’m ready to confess that I’m in one, cry out to God to remove me, and let Him grab me up from the depths. I don’t want to be stuck in the mud of earthly concerns any longer. I want to soar through life on the wings of eagles, with a view of eternity. I’m ready to let go and be delivered.
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.
--Psalm 40:1-3
Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
--Song of Songs 2:10
Boy was that a good call.
I wasn’t sure when I began reading what this whole deal with a “pit” was. But it soon became evident that I was indeed in one right now. Moore defines a pit as coming to a place in your life where you “feel stuck, you can’t stand up, and you’ve lost vision.” We can find ourselves in pits for various reasons. Perhaps someone pushed us in by their sins against us. We can stumble in by accident and then have no idea how to get out. Or we can jump in willingly by our sin.
I think I found myself in this current pit by stumbling in. It didn’t begin with sin, but I certainly wasn’t looking where I was going and what started out as innocent led me to the bottom of a slimy cavern. Once I was down there, I moved in and made myself comfortable. I papered the walls with my failed good intentions and laid down a carpet of broken dreams. I figured there was no way I was getting out of this place anyway, so I might as well just chalk it up to my fate in life. And somewhere along the way I decided that this miserable place was somewhere I’d just have to learn to like. After all, be content in every situation, right?
I have struggled for a long time with feeling like I am not supposed to get out of this pit. I often thought, and still do think sometimes, that I’m where I am because that’s where God wants me, as some sort of punishment for just about every bad thing I’ve ever done. Kind of like God is saying “that’s what you get, kid”. As if striving to climb out would negate the punishment I am supposed to endure with my mouth shut.
I think this comes from a wrong view of God that has been cultivated all throughout my life. I spent my early years in a Christian school that emphasized rules more than relationship. So my early visions of God had a whole lot to do with guilt and punishment. And of course, we know that God’s perfection makes us totally unworthy. But that’s where Christ is supposed to come in. Yes, I was taught salvation through Christ. But after that, it was emphasized that in order to maintain God’s favor, I had to follow these rules, many of them manmade. This led to the idea that God would love me less if I didn’t.
What a day it was when I discovered the true depth of the love of God! God’s love is not limited by my actions, positive or otherwise. There is no cap on it. And I cannot receive or maintain God’s favor by my actions. The only reason I have God’s favor is because of Jesus Christ. Not because I’m a good person who makes good choices, but because the lavish grace of Jesus has enraptured my soul. So when God looks at me, He doesn’t see a worthless sinner in need of a beating. He sees His beloved Son stretched out on a cross, closing the chasm between me and the Almighty.
I also struggle with the evil mindset that God doesn’t want me to be happy. This is a lie straight from Satan, who is trying to poison my faith. God wants my life to be rich, full in blessings, full of peace…life more abundant. God did not call me to be His child to make me miserable. On the contrary, true joy can only be found in a life marked by God’s touch. No, life as His child isn’t always easy. But it should always be wonderful. Joyful. Happy in Christ. The idea that God wants me to live a restricted and miserable life is like me saying I want my children to go through their years overcome with melancholy and guilt, always sober and morose because they aren’t perfect. Never! I want them to be happy, full of vitality and joy, secure in knowing that I love them regardless. And how much more does my Father in Heaven love me?
No, God doesn’t want me to stay in my pit another second. He stands at the edge with a hand outstretched to His precious child below. He’s been there for a long time, calling me, wanting so badly for me to look up through the slime and darkness and see that He is there, longing to take me out of the mire and set my feet upon a rock. God is not in the business of putting locks on our cells. We are free to escape, free to run to Him and leave the chains behind. If we are in our cells, it’s because we ourselves are holding the door shut.
I no longer want this pit to be my home. I’m ready to confess that I’m in one, cry out to God to remove me, and let Him grab me up from the depths. I don’t want to be stuck in the mud of earthly concerns any longer. I want to soar through life on the wings of eagles, with a view of eternity. I’m ready to let go and be delivered.
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.
--Psalm 40:1-3
Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
--Song of Songs 2:10
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