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Rumors of Wars

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 If you're a student of both history and the Scriptures, you may be having a hard time narrowing down the precise reason for your current unease. You have a deep appreciation of how this story goes. It's nothing new, nothing special, except perhaps for the fact that the places where light can freely shine are shrinking in the world. Turns out, the Bible was right all along when it said that true freedom only works in the context of godly principles. You can plainly see the suffering that lies ahead, not just for you, but for everyone. Maybe even more acutely for your children and grandchildren, which only makes the unease worse. It's as obvious as an orange sign on the side of the highway that people around you seem to speed right past without seeing: "Suffering ahead. Be prepared to merge."  You may feel lonely or confused as to why so many of your peers seem to be missing it. You may be scoffed at, belittled, accused of overreacting by the same people you've
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Don't Call This a Comeback

Shhh. Don't tell anybody I'm here. The last three years have been full. So full, I'm not really sure how to sum them up. They were definitely a blur. I worked a lot. Seth worked a lot. We worked on our little house a lot. In fact, home renovation and the employment that funded it pretty much took over those three years. All with the goal to sell and move to a forever home. Well, check that off the list. Here I sit, in my new old house, my kids sleeping in their new bedrooms, and Seth working some overtime (there are still renovations to fund). I can't even really believe it. Moving here was a deeply rooted goal in my heart for some time, even when I didn't really know where "here" was. Those three years of busy were hard. Worth it, but hard. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I'm not great at having a job. My brain can only focus on so much at a time. I was too exhausted to write, and not only exhausted, but....empty? Dry? Not sure how to de
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Who Am I and What Have I Done With Me?

So, there I was, hobbling through my only semi-busy life, attempting to find a balance that allowed me to homeschool, clean my house, do ministry at church, study stuff, help my mom, take pictures when it suited me, read books, and binge watch Netflix on occasion. And even though there wasn't really that  much on my plate, I still had a hard time fitting it all in. So, I did the most logical thing. I got a job. I know, right? To clarify, I didn't go looking for a job. It was actually the last thing on my mind. But one sorta fell in my lap, like a bug from the ceiling. But unlike the usual bug-jobs that come along, I didn't instantly sweep it off my lap with a screech, because, as I thought about it, it seemed like something that was reasonable for me to do. Maybe even enjoyable eventually. On paper, it's perfect. I'll be shooting real estate photography for a good sized firm. It's in my field. It's NOT portrait or wedding photography. It's flex
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Too Busy for Existential Thoughts

I feel like I'm moving at the speed of light, but simultaneously frozen. I guess that's why I've heard this stage of life referred to as "the blur". My twenties were characterized by life-altering events like marriage and becoming a parent and buying a home and attempting to "find myself". Well, I feel like I successfully located myself at around thirty. I became comfortable in my identity. I identified the parts of me that needed to change and the parts that God had specifically designed for me. I accepted that I would never be super-skinny or good at being extremely busy. Climbing into me resulted in God allowing me to accomplish some really cool things, like co-writing a book, learning how to teach, learning to somewhat play the piano, developing a passion for photography, and cutting myself some slack in the parenting department.  But here I am, not having any sort of identity crisis, but still feeling lost in my life. Having a lot of roles means
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Ten Things

Heeeeeey. Remember me? I didn't drop off the face of the earth, just this corner of the internet. I've been quite busy with things that aren't writing, but I'm feeling the urge to write again. Which of course means the things I've been busy with (photography, home schooling, painting my house, folding laundry) are going to be ignored. I can only ever focus on one thing at a time. And sometimes that time lasts months. Lately I feel like there's so much to write about that I can't focus, so I'll start with a ten things post to get the ball rolling. 1. I feel overwhelmed. Not buried (yet), just barely keeping my head above water when it comes to the things I need to do. The summer was extraordinarily busy, and it has bled into a fall that is extraordinarily busy. Maybe life just gets busier and busier and I need to learn how to deal. It's a process for sure. I'm not great with being out of my house a lot or with variations in the routine. The fi
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Moving Forward

I am not a very creative person. [No, I'm not fishing for compliments. I promise. I hate when people do that.] I'm not very imaginative. I don't have bursts of original ideas. I can't easily envision things that don't exist. My brain just doesn't work that way. I'm definitely a thinker, and I like thinking deeply and excessively, but I just can't do thinking originally. What I am good at is finding inspiration and then imitating it. I can look on Pinterest and easily figure out how I'd like to decorate my house, because it's all right there in front of my eyes. Now, my own imitation will probably vary from the original, because I shop at Ikea and Marshall's and not [insert fancy home store here], but there will be a definite flavor that isn't inherently my own. The way I assemble it is mine, but the source of inspiration rarely originates with me. I've been musing on this idea for awhile now, and truly, I think mos
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The Anonymous People

The internet's a funny thing. I have a very, extremely small, minuscule really voice here on the vast ocean that is the world wide web. To be honest, I like it that way. I like that mostly, only people I know in real life (and a very small percentage at that) ever even glance my blog's way. Being introverted means I don't really write here for strangers. I write because it's one of the ways I learn and process. A few times in the last eight or so years of blogging here, I've had strangers comment. And nearly every single time, anonymous comments meant disagreement--often angry or condescending disagreement. And almost every time, they've been deleted. Perhaps that's selfish of me, but whatevs. That's the perk of having a blog. Total control. Mwahaha. If the disagreement came from a person I knew in real life, I allowed the comments and often there was a spirited, yet respectful debate. And while I obsess over things like that, they can be very
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